Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Operation: Gnomeregan

I did what I could on a few of my characters yesterday.  Only the Alliance ones so far, I have not gotten to the Horde ones yet but I will in time.  I am more concerned about doing it on my leveling characters then my 80s being the experience is fantastic on them.

I did it on my main (Hunter) and then secondary character (Priest) and after that I went for doing it on my lower levels (Warrior, Paladin, Rogue) for the experience.  I was quite upset that the lower levels could not finish it, there should be some phasing so everyone can do it and not just end game characters.  Either way, it was a fun little event for the most part. 

The quests themselves where enjoyable and felt different then the normal.  All in all, not a lot to do but a little bit to side track the norm so that was fun.  If there was any downside to it you can probably guess what it was, the morons that seem to come out of the woodwork when events like this happen.

The sheer amount of completely retarded questions that where in general, say and even yell coming out left and right shows why Blizzard keeps dumbing down the game more and more and the sad part is, it does not seem to be helping any at all.  The complete and total retards still can not figure anything out on their own.

Here is my Compete Idiots FAQ to Operation: Gnomeregan based on the questions I saw asked in general, said and yelled at least 30 times each in the matter of 15 minutes.

1) Where do I get the starting quest?
- How about you check your mailbox?  If you are not smart enough to figure out that something that is beased around Ironforge would have the quest start in Ironforge then you should at least me smart enough to read the mail sitting in your mailbox moron.

2) Where do I enlist the Gnomes?
- You mean those little guys all over the place in Ironforge that are not normally there?  Why don't you take a look at them and see if it says something under them that might indicate they are a quest objective.

3) Where am I supposed to go with these Gnomes I have following me?
- If only Blizzard added a mini map that highlighted quest objectives for people that can not figure out how to look for things themselves.  Oh wait, they did.  Try using it moron.  It will show you where you need to go.

4) Where is the Drill Sergeant?
- I can't be sure but maybe he is the guy right near where you got the quest with all the Gnome Infantry in front of him telling them training orders.  Nah, why would a Drill Sergeant be yelling orders to a formation of soldiers?

5) I keep doing /salute, /roar, /cheer and /dance but none of them are working?
- Maybe it is because you need to wait for him to ask you to do it?  Nah, why would a quest have an objective that you have to follow someones instructions.  That is just plain stupid.  Usually the line saying Salute Now!, Roar Now!, Cheer Now! or Dance Now! might give it away that he wants you to do those things at that moment for them to count.

6) I am dropping bombs all over Gnomeregan but they are not counting, why?
- Well, lets try something different here and read the quest. It says to drop them on the VENT.  Are you dropping them on the VENT?  I bet I know the answer being they are not counting for you.  How about you aim for the vent.  The square thing on the ground that is not a building that seems to have smoke coming out of it and arrows point at it and looks something like a vent.

7) Where is Ozzie or Milli or Tog?
- Blizzard really needs to add that map thing that shows you objectives, here is another time it would really help.  Oh wait, there is one.  Wow, if only someone could figure out how to use it.  Use it moron.  Click the map button and it will show or click the quest and open it and click the little map there to see where you need to go.  No need to scream "I can't find Tog" over and over.  I am sure if you actually took 2.2 seconds to look you would find good old Tog yourself.

8) How do I eject from the vehicle?
- You have to be shitting me you complete and total moron.  No one is really that stupid.  There is only one option when you are doing the first part.  Try choosing that one and only option moron.  Please tell me you do not plan to reproduce?  Stupid people have stupid babies and we do not need any more stupid people breeding.

9) How do I xxx on the vehicle?
- Okay, please, never have sex, we can not chance a mistake happening and you having an offspring that might be as stupid as you are.  There are four options.  One you have used before.  The quest says to do three things three times each.  Maybe those other three buttons are the three things.  Just a guess here.

10) How come I can't hit the target?
- Because you are a moron.  Lets see if I can explain this one so even a retard like you can figure it out.  Aim for the target, shoot.  If your bombs fall short.  Move forward and shoot. Wow, that was really hard.

11) Where is Thunderflash to get to the attack?
- How the hell did you get to this point if you do not where Thunderflash is.  You needed to ride the damn thing in a quest 3 minutes ago.  Are you really that stupid or do you just not even pay attention to what you are doing?  Take the same helicopter that you used to drop the bombs on the vents you could not find moron.

12) OMG he is not here, how am I going to turn in the quest now?
- It is a looped event.  If he is not there the event is running now.  Hang out and wait and when the event is done he will reappear there and let everyone turn in the quest before he starts the next event.  God forbid you actually need to wait 10 minutes for something.  Let me guess you are one of the morons that want full tier 10 gear as a "gift" of congratulations when you hit level 80 right?  Not all things are instantaneous.

13) How come I died jumping down?
- Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you are an idiot?  Lets see.  Everyone else is up the walkway fighting troggs and you went out of the scope of the staged event and you are wondering why something bad happened?  Follow the flow of the staged event and you will be fine as a parachute is supplied later after the big trogg is killed.

That is all for my little guide.  Mind you there were tons more questions some just as stupid as some of these, some worse, some actually made some sense.  Most however where of the "I'm too stupid and too lazy to figure out how to do things" variety. 

With events like this I can see why Blizzard is making constant efforts to make the game easier.  The average player, as seen here, does not have the IQ of a gnat.  It is amazing that Blizzard gave so many tools lately that anyone can figure anything out, they do not need to go to a website most of the time, and people still can not figure anything out on their own. 

They send you a mail telling you where to start, they give you exact locations on the mini map of where you need to go, the quests are so detailed they tell you exactly what your objective is and people still can not figure it out on their own.

I have no faith in the future of humanity if these morons are the people that will grow up to run the world some day.  If they can not do the most simple of simple tasks in a game then I worry about them dealing with things in real life that might require some actual common sense or intelligence.

1 comment:

  1. *snicker* Digging the sarcasm in this article. There was definitely a lot of confusion with this event that could be easily cleared up by reading the quest text and with a little common sense. There appears to be a "dumb" trend happening where some players feel things should be handed to them on a silver platter and refuse to use the tools Blizzard has given them.