It is getting crazy now with raiding. It has gotten to the point that I am not having fun. I am wasting 3 hours of my life for absolutely nothing. My streak of bad luck can not go on much further. I keep saying I will wait it out, I will be a team player, I will do what needs to be done and I do keep doing that.
Finally had a night where some hunter loot actually dropped and what is more amazing, there were two things I really needed. Like best in slot needed. There was one other thing I might have liked, but those two things were what I have been hoping I was being punished with all my other rolls so I could get them. You know, like karma. I always roll like crap or straight out pass to others that can use it but when the time comes when something drops that I really need I will get it. Nope, still rolled like crap. At least I got double digits this time. Still lost.
As much as I try to be the nice guy there is only so much the nice guy can get shit on before he says fuck it and just gives up. Now the guild wants to make sure all the tanks and healers get marks first before the DPS. So lets see, my luck with rolling is shit, I never win anything. Hunter loot rarely drops to begin with. Now add to the fact that the warrior, hunter, shaman mark is going to be given to tanks and healers before DPS.
Lets see, we have 2 warrior tanks and 1 shaman healer. That means, best case, 12 weeks before I can get a mark. But wait, 12 weeks would mean at least one drops every week and I have only seen 3 in the last 6 weeks, so that means 24 weeks. In 24 weeks I won't want the fucking mark. I'll be wearing Cataclysm greens that are better most likely.
It is just not worth the effort any more. I show up on time and ready. I wait for an hour for everyone else to show and to fill up because many people apparently can't tell time. I come prepared, with flasks and end up giving other people flasks because they forgot to get them. How is it that I give flasks to the same people every fucking week because they always forget to bring them? They know they are raiding that night. Buy a few flasks before you come damn it. At least pretend like you are being a team player. Stop relying on others all the time.
The biggest kicker is the two pieces I really needed went to some timers. The people that are late for raids or just do not show sometimes. Sure they say they are sorry, but they are still not dedicated raiders in any way, shape or form. Now I am starting to feel the way the people that left felt. I fell like I am just running to gear people up. People that don't deserve it. Thing is, I have an argument. I still lead the DPS charts and I have not gotten one piece of gear, at all, whereas they where getting geared up.
If anything, there is an argument that giving me the gear will put it to better use being apparently I know what I am doing and they don't if they can not beat me even if they are all in better gear then I am. Think of it as we are all one big machine. Oiling one part of the machine ups productiveness by 2% and oiling another part of the machine ups productivity by 5%. Now think of it as you can only oil one part, which part do you oil? The part that gives the most productivity right? Well lets see, say one piece of gear is a 300 DPS upgrade. Who should you give it to, the person that will make the total team DPS go up 30 DPS using it or the person that will make the total team DPS go up 300 DPS using it. You give it to the one that will get the most from it because it makes for a better team over all.
The basic point is the game is supposed to be fun. Sure, we all lose rolls but at some point it becomes to much to deal with. Each week seeing people get upgrades I need when I still destroy them on the DPS charts, I still need to give them a flask because they forgot it and I still have to sit around waiting for them, it is just to much. They do not deserve the gear. Yeap, I said it and I never have before, but they do not deserve it. Never have I considered gear as something that someone would deserve but that was basically because I was new, I never experienced this for an extended point like I have. Now I am beginning to understand why some guild have the hard ass rules. Thing with me is I am still morally against those rules.
The game has just lost all fun for me. It is about the point where I just give up. If I am going to keep running I am not going to give a crap about trying to do the best I can because apparently that is not required, there are people that warp me in gear doing over 3K less and they get gear all the time too. I am going to stop bringing flasks and expect others to bring them for me. I am going to start showing up late just so I can make everyone wait. (okay, I am just being grumpy there, I would not do anything of that you know)
Maybe once I start acting like the people that win the rolls I will start winning some rolls. They say nice guys finish last. That has been my case. Been too nice. From now on, fuck everyone else. I am going to start being a jerk when raiding. Rolling on things I do not need just to deny others from getting it. But that will never happen, I won't win the roles anyway.
All I want to do is have fun with the game and that has not been happening. I am a strict 10 raider. Not one piece of gear from 25 man. Problem is, I've been doing 25 man forever. No one can roll this bad for this long. The game has lost its fun.
If it were not for the fact I was tired, and in some pain from dental work I had done earlier that afternoon I might have pulled one of those internet rage moments and quit the guild. I am glad I didn't. It is not my style, I really just post it here to vent it and then I fell better and move along. I am just really not having any fun at all in the game lately. One win per month at least would be nice.
BlizzCaps: Are there Darwin Awards for Gnomes?
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