Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Does Role Effect Your Feelings?

The question is rather simple, does the role you are playing change your feelings?

With a study group of one, me, I can say that what role I am playing does make me view myself differently as well as others differently.

As a DPS (except Hunter) -
Note:  I exclude hunter because that is the one I have the most experience at and I play it better then all other damage dealing classes.

I always have a feeling of inadequacy.  I could have did more DPS, I could have interrupted faster, I could have CCed that one mob on the fly, I could have moved a split second faster out of avoidable damage. 

I always feel like no matter what I do I can do it better.  There is never a time when I feel like I did everything perfect and even those moments when it comes close to perfect I can always pick a few spots where I could have done something better.

As a damage dealer I always feel like all the pressure in the world in on my shoulders.  If my DPS is not high enough the mob lives to long.  If the mob lives to long the healer might go oom or the tank might run out of cooldowns or someone might finally make a mistake and get hit by something that they avoided the first six times but the seventh time it gets them.  The longer a mob lives, the more chances there are for things to go wrong.  The longer the mob lives, my own feelings of inadequacy increases.

If the healer goes oom, it was my fault for not downing the mob fast enough.  If I grab aggro, it is my fault for not DPSing within the tanks ability.  If I am on the wrong target and take aggro, it is my fault for tabbing to the wrong target and not noticing it fast enough.  Anything I do, it my fault because good DPS, very good DPS, can compensate for average or below average tanks and healers. 

All the pressure is on me and no matter what I do I know I could always do better.  It is a hard role to play because there is no such thing as being great when you are DPS because you can always get better.  I love the challenge of always getting better, but I always feel like everything that goes wrong is my fault even if it wasn't.

This is why I hate pugging on my other DPS, I always feel like I can do better and even if I can do over 10K on one of them in low gear I do not feel I know them well enough to have the weight of the world on their shoulders yet and that is what happens to a DPS in a pug.  Even more so when you are the only DPS doing 10K.

As a DPS - Hunter -

This one is slightly difference because I am very confident in my skill set as a hunter but that does not change the fact that I still suffer from everything mentioned above.  I still feel like I can always get better, I could move quicker, I could do more DPS, I could be faster with a trap on the fly, I could be faster with a tranq shot, I could help by hitting a runner with a concussive, the list goes on and on and on.  Hunters have such a huge toolkit and I feel that if I am not using every one of those tools to their fullest potential then I am doing something wrong.  At least with my hunter I feel as if the pressure of carrying the world on my shoulders is not so bad.

There is one little difference however with my hunter.  Where I easily fall into the we can not do this attitude on all my other DPS characters I always feel that when I am on my hunter we can do anything.  As long as the rest of the group is as least awake at the keyboard and not tripping over their own feet when they walk I always believe everything can be done.  On my hunter, I have hope.

Last boss of ZA the day ZA came out.  Eagle pops up, everyone dies, everyone but your friendly neighborhood hunter.  I turn my pets growl on, start spamming shots with MD on to it, switch to fox and never stop moving.  I know what you will say, you do not need to keep moving.  Well, when you are alone and you do not have a heal, you can never stop moving, trust me.  I downed the boss myself.  No one else needed.  On my hunter, anything is possible.

Second boss of stonecore one week after cataclysm was released, everyone died nearly instantly.  I soloed him all by my lonesome.  Even my pet was dead.  On my hunter, anything is possible.

Same boss everyone but me and one melee DPS died.  I told him, burn it, I will kite it.  We downed it.

Second to last boss of SFK.  Everyone dead.  Pet growling again, me moving in circles in fox, dead boss.  As a hunter, anything is possible and I always believe there is a chance even when it seems like there is none.

So while I still suffer from the feelings of inadequacy with my hunter that I do with my other DPS classes I always feel that there is hope.  On my other characters when I think, I could do better, I feel it is a need to learn to be better.  On my hunter when I think I could do better, I know I can and it is just a matter of doing it.  I have hope when I am on my hunter.  Hope that anything can be done no matter the group I am in.

This is why I do not mind pugging alone with my hunter.  I believe everything will be fine, even if there are a few wipes, anything can be done.  I have faith.

As a Tank -

I feel so dependent on everyone around me.  If the healer is not good at mana management or does not have the skill or gear.  I die.  If the DPS does not hit the targets I mark.  I die or they die.  If the DPS does not CC the right target I mark (had this hunter that kept CCing the skull even after being told square three times) then the pull can become harder and in some cases near impossible to pull off cleanly.

A pug tank I had on my healer the other day said it perfectly.  Could you DPS wait at least three seconds before you all choose different targets.

The sarcasm dripped off of that like molasses, it was fantastic.  I wanted to tell the tank, I love you man.

As a tank you are at the whim of those around you.  No matter how good you are, you could be fantastic.  You could be an 85 tank running lowbies through a low dungeon, if the people around you are idiots then there will be problems.  You are really dependent on those around you to do everything for you correctly.

This might be one of the reasons we see so few tanks pugging.  Because they are at the whim of everyone around them and if you go alone and pick up four people the law of averages are you will have one good player, one horrible player, and two players that at least have mastered the skill to chew gum and walk at the same time.  This means they could be good or they could be bad but at least they are not complete morons.

If you add to the fact that the tank is supposed to be the leader of the pack so to speak it puts pressure on them to know how to do everything when in the end they have very little control over if it is actually done correctly.  So you need to lead and pray.  I'm not exactly comfortable with that.

I tanked some random heroics yesterday with only 2 guild mates on my warrior.  Which means I picked up pug people.  It makes you shudder doesn't it?  To show you how little I pug with random people guess what achievement I got yesterday.  Looking for more.  Yeap, I just got the achievement for pugging with 10 random people.  We are talking a raid geared tank that has been running dungeons since he hit 85 and I only just got to 10 random people.

I do not pug randoms with my tank because I hate feeling so dependent on people and then add to that I need to lead these people that I have to put my life in their hands?  No thank you.  It will be a long time before I get the 50 random people achievement.  I only did it because it was two guild mates, a healer that I know is skilled and a DPS I knew would do the right thing and could do 18K in a breeze.  This meant, even if the other two DPS sucked, as long as they did not do anything to wipe use, we basically did not need them.

As a Healer -

I suffer from a god complex.  The same thing doctors get.  Everyone lives and dies at my whim.  With the wave of a hand I can heal and I heal based on my opinion of who needs it and even more importantly, who deserves it.

You stand in fire, I let you die.  It was your fault, not mine.  If the tank is taking too much incoming damage and I can not keep up, it is the tanks fault for not using CC to limit the incoming damage or not using a cooldown when they could have.  It was your fault, not mine.  If a DPS keeps pulling aggro I will only try to keep them up for so long, but if it is a choice between healing you or the tank getting that life saving heal you just drew the short straw, you are the weakest link, good bye.  It was your fault, not mine.

Everyone says things about all the healer hate that gets thrown around and they are not lying.  Any time any one dies they always try to blame me.  Difference is, when I am on my healer, I am god.  God don't play that.

I put them in their place instantly.  If the time does occur that it was my fault I will be the first to admit it and it does happen, I am not perfect, but don't ever try to pass your failing on to me because you will lose.

I have no issue taking control of a group as a healer.  I'll mark, I'll explain, I'll teach, I'll help, I'll do everything I can for anyone.  I don't do that as DPS because I am rather indifferent.  I don't do that on my tank because my life is in their hands and if you speak up they can easily let you die or make your life hell.  As a healer, I control all, at all times.  Want to try and make my life hell?  I'll just let you die and now you are no longer a problem.

The other day a tank yelled at me that he went from 100 to 0 instantly, was I even healing him.  I replied, you can not dodge, block or parry from behind, perhaps facing the mobs while tanking them will help.  Tank 0 God 1.

A Rogue died on the dragonhawk boss two attempts in a row really early on and blamed me both times.  I said, just because attacking from behind is best for your DPS doesn't mean you still attack from behind when there is fire behind him.  Stop standing in the fire to DPS and you will stop dying.  Rogue 0 God 2.

One pull in ZA the trapped mob broke out and came straight for me and a shadow priest beating the ever loving crap out of us before the tank picked it up and the priest went down and said, wtf, why didn't you save me.  I said, It was either save me or save you and I choose me.  If I saved you, we wipe, if I saved me, I can rez you after we don't wipe..  Priest 0 - God 3.

Another dragonhawk story, three failed attempts in and one DPS says that the healer can not keep us up.  I say, I have no problem keeping them up if they stop taking avoidable damage.  I tell the tank, do this my way.  Kill all hatchers.  Let all hawks comes out at the same time.  Pick them up, mow them down.  Two of the DPS said that is impossible.  One said that sounds cool.  The tank said can you heal that?  I said, use some cooldowns at that point and it will be no problem and hope the DPS was wrong saying I can't heal. 

We had horrible DPS that run.  7K, 11K and 14K over all for the run.  I've done this with groups all over 15K but never one this low.  Next attempt, we kill all hatchers, we let all come out at once, we burn them all down.  No one dies, everyone ends the fight at over 90% health, I end the fight still with half mana.  The tank said, how the hell did you heal through all that?  The hunter said, that was amazing. I said to the DPS, you where right, that wipe was all my fault.  Oh wait, we didn't wipe.  Bad DPS 0 God 4.

Warrior on the last boss of ZG could not find the bubble with a road map starts complaining why I did not heal him through it.  He said, I only missed it once and you could not heal me, what is your problem.  I said, you missed it every single time.  The tank and other DPS said the same thing, you missed it each time.  The warrior raged saying it was a game error because he was definitely in it being blaming me failed so horribly.  Warrior 0 God 5.

If you ever want an ego boost, play a healer.  Being god is fun sometimes.  Just make sure you have some humility.  If you make a mistake, own up to it.  If they make a mistake, do not insult them, just explain the mistake, like quoting lame lines like you can not dodge, block or parry from behind.  Trust me, it works better then saying, ur a fail tank noob.

I do not mind pugging on my healer because I know my limits.  I know what I can heal and what I can't and I have no problem speaking up about it.  If I need something CCed, I tell them, I need that CCed.   If they ignore me and we wipe, they sure as hell listen to everything I say for the rest of the run.  The gospel of the healer god.  There is no stronger power in game.

So over all I have noticed that how I feel about the role I play differs on what the class does as well as my personal skill level of that character.  Also, how I treat those around me changes depending on what class I am currently playing.

I am a very quiet DPS and tank but vocal as a healer. 
I have zero patience as a tank but am willing to work with people on my DPS and healer characters.
I feel inadequate most of the time as DPS no matter how well I do.
I feel so defenseless as a tank if I do not have a good group behind me.
I feel so relaxed as a healer usually no matter what the group make up is.

Even in a playing around sort of way the class I play changes how I play.

When I am on my mage I am always being silly, making jokes, being talkative, which is so unlike me, running in circles, being the class clown so to speak.

When I am on my rogue I play the flirt, whistling and flirting with all female toons I run across, even if I know the user is a male, just because it is fun to do with that character.

So it is not only my feelings about the character role that change from class to class but my feelings about the characters change from class to class.

Basically I feel like I am a different person behind the computer depending on who I am playing on the computer.  Perhaps they are all little bits of me and they each bring out a part in their own way but they do definitely effect my feelings when playing them.

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