Something to do... Tomorrow

Tomorrow is patch day and I am looking forward to it.  Lately I only log on out of habit, not because I want to.  I've logged on to raid and other such things and dreaded every minute of if.  I only do it because I am the raid leader and I have to.

You know things are bad in game when you are the raid leader and you start hoping that people do not show up so you can cancel the raid.

The patch is coming and it will give a little life for a few days at least I am sure and then things will be back to normal.  Nothing to do.  But here is to hoping that the new heroics will help some more people gear up so pugging becomes more of an option again.

I am going to get a handful of achievements the second I log in tomorrow so being I am an achievement hunter that is fun but is it really hunting when I am getting them after the fact?

The last few days have been hell for me not wanting to play but feeling forced to play.

Thursday night I was having issues with camera angle which made playing near hell.  I had to put the camera on follow and bring it super close in.  Being I do not normally play this way it made my life hell.  Now, try kiting parasites like that.  Not fun I tell you.

That was the icing on the cake for me.  I have not been having fun playing for a long time and now because of some odd issue I get sometimes where everything behind me obstructs my view it made the game near unplayable.  It usually goes away on its own.  I have no clue why it happens.

Friday I logged on to do rated battleground, no one showed, I logged off after sitting in stormwind for an hour doing nothing.  If you have read my blog you know that sitting in stormwind doing nothing is like death to me.  I hate doing that.  If I am online I am on to play, not to sit in stormwind.  I just did not want to do anything else.  I only logged on for the rated battlegrounds and no one showed.

Saturday I had a throwback raid set up for Black Temple so I logged in for that, we ran it, it was fun, we got a legendary for one of the guild members, then I logged off after making my Vial of Sand for my hunter.

Sunday, I logged in only to do my jewelcrafting dailies on my druid and my warrior and someone in my guild needed some enchants and caught me so I did them for him and then popped on to my hunter and flew around stormwind for about 10 minutes as my new drake self and then logged off.

Tonight is raid night.  So I will hope and pray that my camera angle is working or it will be another raid night from hell and it will have me hoping that no one shows so I can cancel the raid.

This was a weekend where everything that has been building up in the game came to a head for me.  If it weren't for a force of habit (jewelcrafting dailies) or sense of responsibility (raid leader) I would have quit playing this weekend. 

This patch is not going to fix the problem but at least it will give me something to do and hopefully help me find renewed interest in the game.

You see, the reason the game sucks so bad now is my own fault.  I made it suck for me.  I only have one DPS character I play at end game, my hunter.  The other 85s are just there for the sake of leveling them and their professions, I do not play them really. 

All the other characters I play often at end game, shaman (healer), druid (tank/healer), priest (healer/healer), and warrior (tank) are all either tanks or healers meaning I do not run randoms with them.  So I have to wait for a guild run that needs them to fill in, which is few and far between.

My main, the DPS character, has not needed valor points for the better part of three and a half months.  So no randoms for him as well.

This leaves me with no randoms I feel compelled to do and because of the "difficulty" level I won't drag other DPS characters along.  Unlike most people I will not random unless I know I am good at what I do and I know I suck at being a Rogue even if compared to some others I've seen I would be considered great.  At least back in wrath they where so stupid easy that if I were bored I would run my mage or rogue through them just for something to do.  Now, I will not bother with that.

At least back then I was willing to random with a tank or healer once in a while because they where so laughable I knew that the worst that could happen is a wipe or two but it would still only be 15 minutes of my life wasted.

There are no pugs on my server unless you want to count everyone and their mother pugging BoT trash for epics because everyone wants to run with guild only now for the most part and the content is not completely puggable for the average player.

I sometimes get an invite to some of the top guilds runs if their house hunter is not around but usually they seem to be doing the one my guild is doing that week which means I can not go.

Being most guilds are doing 10s now instead of 25s they have to worry about group make up so even if they wanted my 20K DPS I don't get an invite because they already have a guild hunter in and even if I am better than their guild hunter they have to take them first, which I agree with 110%, always take guild first.  That just leaves me with nothing to do raid wise.

I made my own bed and that is why the game is boring now.

I refuse to run heroics with my many tanks and healers, so I have nothing to do with them.

I do not run heroics with my hunter because I do not need anything, even if I could for fun if I wanted to.

I do not run with my other DPS characters because I am not as good on them and can not get fantastic DPS out of them, I could do heroics and let other people do all the work like everyone else does but that is not me.

I will not leave my guild because I like the people, which means my raid progress will always be middle of the pack at best.

I can not pug into heroic raids because I have not even finished the normal ones yet and no one is pugging normals but their are some people occasionally looking for someone for heroics that has full normal experience and that is not me sadly.

See, Cataclysm sucks for me.  While it is in part Cataclysm's fault it is also in part my fault.

I could do things to make the game fun again, I just do not want to.

Perhaps I need to change the way I play being the way the game is played changed.

I'll try when the patch comes out tomorrow.  Maybe it can help me find a way to enjoy the game again.  I doubt it however.

I am just going to have to open myself up to pugging with my tanks and healers.  I mean, in the end, all I have are a bunch of tanks and healers and I am not using them.

I'll have to change the way I play the game if there is any chance of me ever finding any joy in the game again.

One thing will not change however.

I will never sit around stormwind and do nothing.  That is the most retarded thing in the world to do.  If you pay to play a game play it.  Do not sit in stormwind all day long, go out and play it.

Darn, I'll have to do that if I want to pug.  Fuck, I'm screwed.

I guess it will just be going back to doing things out of habit.

Log on for JC dailies.
Log on for raids we should be doing better at but don't.
Log on for rated battleground no one shows up for.
Log on hoping someone needs a tank or healer for a random.

Log off disappointed that there is nothing for me to do in a game I used to enjoy passing the time playing and now feels more like a job then fun.

How I miss stupid easy heroics that I would have been willing to tank and heal for idiots or been willing to bring one of my sub par classes, like rogue, into one.  They gave me something to do.  I miss having something to do.