Friday, February 11, 2011

Trade Personalities.

It takes all kinds.  All servers have people that stand out.  The ones with the personalities that stand out, good or bad.  I tend to keep from talking in trade chat.  It is rare I say anything.  People that do ask questions, even legitimate ones, I feel bad for.  I answer them in whisper if I think the question is legitimate but never in trade.

Trade is where personalities are born.

I don't use ignore although I should.  I sometimes find reading trade to be very entertaining.  More then a few times I've even laughed so hard I had to stop to catch my breath.  Does that make me a bad person?

In all honestly the ones I find the funniest are the ones where the answer is so obvious but the person that asks it didn't notice they were asking a stupid question.

/2 What is the best healing spec for a holy paladin?

Come on now, just seeing 12 people type "holy" is a riot.  At least to me it is.

Trade Personalities.

360 Guy:
/2 Why do they call it an x-box 360?

You know that guy.  He is the troll that everyone knows is a troll and he knows that everyone knows he is a troll.  He is the one people ask to start trolling when there is nothing going on in trade.

/2  Hey, do the 360 thing.

He only does troll things that are so played out that everyone knows they are troll things.  He does not actually try to troll.  He actually takes pride in being a bad troll and it seems to work.  People never hate him for being a troll.  It is usually the only type of troll that is not actively hated.

Annoyance Factor:  3/10

Gear Score Guy:
/2 Can anyone tell me my gear score?

While this might seem like the type of guy looking to brag it isn't always that way.  Sometimes it is just someone that wants to know, as if gear score actually mattered to anyone with a brain.  They will ask it all the time.  The Gear Score Guy will ask it even if they did not change any gear thinking that just because it is a different day or it is raining today, that somehow their gear score might be different.

You will see gear score guys come and go and sometimes you might not notice them as gear score guys.  You only see them ask once or twice.  What you do not see is that they are on all the time when you aren't and they are asking.  Maybe if they ask in Ironforge their gear score will be higher.

Annoyance Factor: 1/10

LFG Gear Score Guy:
/2 6012 gear score looking for ICC

Used to see this one a lot, now it is the item level guy.  This guy knows his gear score and likes to share his gear score.  He knows it to the exact number.  Where most people would say 6K gear score when asked he has to say 6012.  Do not mess with his extra 12 or that makes you a tard that does not know how to play.  6012 is much better then 6000 you noob and you better remember that.

LFG GSG will make sure that everyone on the server knows his gear score because he will spam trade for hours on end.  I wonder if anyone ever invites him to join a raid because with the time he spends in trade I can't see how he has any time left to raid.  It is like he spams it even if he is not looking for a group just to let people know he has a 6K gear score.  Oh, sorry, 6012 gear score.

Annoyance Factor: 7/10

Mr. Rude:
/2 Your mom

That will be his answer to almost anything.  What is the hardest class to play, your mom.  What raid drops the best plate tanking pants, your mom.  What spec is good for a hunter leveling, your mom.  If your mom does not fit what he is answering he will say something else rude and fit your mom into it later.  He really loves your mom.

/2 It's because you touch yourself

How come my DPS is so low, because you touch yourself.  Why didn't we win TB, because you touch yourself.  When your mom does not fit well it must be because you touch yourself.

The first time you hear it or on odd occasions where it actually seems to fit in a funny sort of way Mr. Rude can be funny.  But when talking about there being 24 hours in a day, he is funny roughly one third of a second per day.

Annoyance Factor: 9/10

13 Year Old Girl:
/2 I haz a bunnah and a kittah, dey iz ssoooo cute.

Word to the wise, this person is not a 13 year old girl and most likely not even a girl.  No girls talk like that and if they do they are as stupid as this turd.  They talk about stupid stuff and barely fumble their way into spelling anything correctly.  Sometimes it could even bring on a headache trying to read whatever garbage they are trying to spew.

You would be better off gargling with shards of broken glass then to ever say anything in trade that might attract the attention of this, whatever it is.  The last thing you want is for it to start talking to you.  Even if you can make out what it is saying between all of the smiley faces, nothing they have to say is worth listening to or even humorous.

Annoyance Factor: 10/10

LFM Pure Awesome:
/2 12/12 HM Guild looking for ranged and healers. Must know HM better then your phone number.  Do not apply if you suck.
/2 LFM 25M xxx HM, need ranged and healers.  Don't suck.

Every server has guilds like this and their line for being good and sucking is basically drawn on their guild name.  If you are in their guild, you are great.  If you are not, you suck.  Ex members that leave are only gone because they are scrubs.  It never had anything to do with leaving because they did not like the attitude of the people in the guild of course.

God forbid you get lucky enough to get invited to one of their PuGs and do better than people in their guild.  The whole server will know what a shitty player you are the next day.  The fact that you basically schooled everyone in their guild about how to play the game means nothing.  You beat one of their own, that means you have to go down in flames.

The annoyance factor for these people really depends on you.  If you are smart enough to stay away from them then it is low.  If you make the mistake of running with them and do good, or apply to their guild and the class leader realizes you are better then him, then it is high.  If you coast and just do average, then you are average and they will leave you alone.

Annoyance Factor: 0/10-10/10 Depending on your involvement.

Guild Spammers:
/2 New guild recruiting.  We accept all levels, classes and roles.  We have repairs, tabard and are friendly.  etc.

You can go hours without seeing these generic messages and then you can go through a time where you can not read anything because the entire screen gets pushed up in seconds from these being posted every second.  Usually by the same guild over and over.  It is like there is someone on the other end of the computer pressing the recruit macro, counting to three, pressing again, counting to three, pressing again, over and over all day long thinking, oh, it has been 3 seconds maybe more people logged on, lets post it again.

God forbid there is another guild spammer or two on.  Then it is war.  You will never be able to see trade again until one of them gets called for dinner, has to go to bed, or falls asleep at the keyboard.  No guild spammer will ever let another guild spammer have the last word.

Annoyance Factor: 8/10

/2 I have a DK and they do not have a talent like that in frost.

It does not matter that they are on their Mage and no one on the server even knows what their DK's name is but they have a top level DK that has raided every top level raid in hard modes already.  Maybe even 2 different top level ones because they are just that good.  Oh yeah, and they also have a top level of every other class too, they are just not on this server.  They even have a mage that has cleared all hard modes already.  This mage is just not their main mage.

No matter the topic, spec, class, this person knows everything about everything.  No matter what you say you are wrong.  Always.  You can quote from EJ, Arena Junkies, every top notch site out there and even offer links, guess what, they are all wrong and so are you, because the Know-It-All has done it and they know better.  Ignore them and they are no bother really.

Annoyance Factor: 2/10

Bank Alt:
/2 "insert irrelevant babble about nothing here"

Everyone knows someone who always seems to be on their bank alt.  They never do anything, they never leave the city, they just talk about anything, all the time, and mostly about how awesome they are that they have that bank alt that makes them money.  Sometimes you never even know the main for that alt because they refuse to tell. They just always seem to be on their bank alt so you wonder how they have time for their main(s).

The bank alt is the little brother of the goblin.  The bank alt is more social and likes to talk all the time about anything.  The bank alt needs to be known otherwise what use would making all that money or controlling the gem market be.  They need people to know what they do.

Annoyance Factor: 4/10

The Goblin:
/2 WTB All Cards. 1K each.

The goblin is all about money.  Named for the Greedy Goblin and the goblin mentality as a whole.  Time is money.  Every time you offer to sell something in trade, they will offer to sell it 1g cheaper.  Every time you offer to buy something in trade they will offer to buy it 1g higher.  Usually when you see someone say something like, xxxx now in AH, they are a goblin letting people know they restocked new product or they are a want to be goblin.

Goblins will not talk much in trade but they will actually be the only ones that use trade for what it is meant to be used for, trading.  Amazing isn't it?  A desperate goblin can be spotted a mile away, if they post more then once per 5 minutes, they are a bad goblin and they are the only goblins that might make the annoyance list because they spam the same thing over and over.

Annoyance Factor: 1/10

Lazy Traveler:
/2 LF port to SW

Just looking for a port does not make someone a lazy traveler.  Posting it over and over every 3 seconds for 2 hours does.  You know you have seen the lazy traveler.  You log in, there is someone posting in trade.  LF port from Dal to SW.  You see it 15-20 more times before you leave to do your dallies.  You come back 45 minutes later and they are still spamming it.  You do your random and come out an hour and a half and they are still spamming it.  It makes you just want to yell at the screen.... "you could have walked backwards from Dal to SW 10 times over the last 2 hours you have been looking for a port".

These people are not only annoying because they are stupid, they are annoying because they have to post it every few seconds.  Depending on how long they wait their annoyance factor changes but knowing how long I have seen people wait, you know their factor will be high.  Why can't they just travel?

Annoyance Factor: 9/10

/2 Hey Everyone. (.>.>)

We all know Norm from Cheers right?  Everyone knew who Norm was.  Every server has a Norm or a few of them.  Usually it is a female and they use trade as if it was their guild chat.  When they log on they say hello to trade to let everyone know their are online.  God forbid someone missed knowing she was on, they might not be able to give her the attention that she so rightfully deserves.

Oddly, everyone on the server seems to like her even if she has the words attention whore tattooed all over her body.  She does not talk like the 13 year old, she never spams and while her conversation is conversation and something that should be in guild and not trade, she never goes over board.  Norm likes the attention a lot but Norm also knows how not to abuse it.  Unless you are a competing Norm then a Norm is mostly harmless but everyone will know your name.

Annoyance Factor: 1/10

The 4 Chans:
/2 Anal [spell or ability here]

These are not a rare species and they seem to have the ability to turn sometimes normal people into 4 Chans if they press enough.  They spam thunderfury, anal, Chuck Norris, you name it, jokes all day every day.  Some how in their demented brains this is funny.  Normal people have gotten caught up in it and continued with their jokes from time to time.  Sad to see people infected like that really.

When they are not spamming anal jokes they are turning anything everyone ever says into something sexual.  They are so sex starved that they think everything in the game is meant to be a reference to sex and/or violence.  Usually a young or out of touch with reality person, that is why they are 4 Chans, named for the commonly known infamous site where the dregs of the internet world like to dwell.  There are other sites like it but this one is where the ones that are not "cool" enough to go to the others go to and they think it is the cats meow.

Sad to say, but usually when something hilarious is said it is one of the 4 Chans that are the ones that spit it out.  As if they are sitting around waiting for the right moment to drop the perfect comedic response to something where it was not meant to be.  Sadly, their powers of humor usually go to waste because for every 10000 comments they make only one ever hits the level of even mildly humorous.

Annoyance Factor: 9/10

The PvPer:
/2 LFM [For the Alliance/Horde]

Contrary to popular belief these exist on PvP and PvE servers.  They just stand out more on the PvE servers.  They run PvP events every day of the week at all times.  There are usually a few well known PvPers that run these and they are really good at including everyone.  Even people that never PvP are welcome to come and they are usually glad to help people out.

The PvE server PvP people are usually a decent crew but they will spam for hours to make a raid on one city that will either be done in no time or break up after one wipe.  It is a hit or miss and in the world where people have characters on both sides this never goes well.  Being they advertise for hours trying to make a group there are people on the other side that know it is coming and it turns into a world PvP event instead of a for the whatever run.

Annoyance Factor: 2/10

The Troll:
/2 How do I get to Stormwind?

That is not a bad question from a level 13 night elf but from a level 85 human it usually means you have just met a troll or someone that bought an account.  Trolls on their own are not annoying, it is the people that fall for it that are annoying.

Sometimes it seems, when school is out it is more prevalent, that half the post in trade are troll posts.  Either people posting a troll post, accusing someone of a troll post, answering a troll post in a troll way or answering a troll post in a serious way.

The troll is the most famous of all trade personalities and without the troll some of the others would never exist.  The 13 Year Old Girl, the Norm, the Mr. Rude, the 4 Chans, they all came from troll roots either directly or indirectly.  Every one of us has a little bit of troll in us at some point and every one of us has contributed to troll clutter. 

How many of you answered the question "where do I get azeroth flying" right after Cataclysm came out?  We all did at some point.  You can be assured that many of the people asking where trolls.  That is what trolls do.  That makes you, me and everyone around us, part of the problem at some point in time.

The troll empire can never be defeated.  Because there are people out there that have simple questions with simple answers and just do not honestly know we will never be able to tell if someone is a troll or if someone isn't which means the trolls always win.  If it is a troll post and someone answers, they win, if it is real question and no one answers, they win.  So answer or not, they will always win sometimes.

Annoyance Factor: 10/10

I am sure if you think about it you will see that all of these personalities are on your server.  Heck, you might even be one of these personalities.  I know I try not to even use trade.  When I need to PuG a healer for one of my raids I do not even post in trade that I am looking for a healer most of the time unless I am in a rush.  I just read trade and wait for someone to post that they are a healer looking for a raid. Then I look them up and if I like them I whisper them. 

Trade scares me, it is like where the great unwashed of the world go to rub their stink off on other people.  I try my hardest to not let them skunk me up.

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