Friday, August 19, 2011

Deaths: 22

Many times I write about bad pugs.  Some times I write about good pugs.  Most of the times pugs just pass by somewhat good or somewhat bad and never get mentioned because they go by without much of a problem leaving no stories to be shared.

Yesterday I had a fun pug.  It went by fast enough and there were no real problem.  No horrible DPS but not fantastic DPS.  No amazing tanking and no horrible tanking.  It is the type of pug that you see maybe 70% of time, passable.

There was one retribution paladin however that it seemed tried to find new and interesting ways to die.  He died nearly ever step of the way along the run.  He died from things we did not even know people could die from.  He died all on his own no where near us.  He died to every avoidable damage you could die from.  He died so much and for such stupid reasons it became impossible to kick him.  We all wanted to see how he was going to figure out how to die next.

I joined an already in progress ZG with just that first mob at the entrance dead so any deaths before they killed that guy I do not know about but the paladin was at low life when I came in so I am going to guess he died, I just will not count it.

Let the count begin.

Death 01:
- Retman forgot to click the cauldron so he took huge damage coming down and ran past the bugs all the way up to the mask and got smoked.
Death 02:
- While we finished the bugs and headed to the mask he released and ran back without touching the cauldron again.  He never made it to us.
Death 03:
- We are waiting for him before getting the guy before the bosses room when he makes it to us, runs past us and right into the guy and get toasted despite the efforts of me and the tank to save him.
Death 04:
- While we are fighting, he dies again running down because he did not touch the cauldron.
Death 05:
- How many deaths can he endure running back?  Add another one.
Death 06:
- He finally made it back as the tank pulls the two snake guys.  He stands in a puddle and I save him the first time.  I can't the second.  He dies.
Death 07:
- Guess who dies running back again because he forgot the touch the cauldron?
Death 08:
- He touched the cauldron this time, fell off the bridge however and got eaten.
Death 09:
- He makes it back just as we are downing the second snake guy and just in time to stand right in front of the spew again and die once more.

Intermission:  Someone pops a mammoth so he can repair.  That was nice of them.  For some odd reason a vote kick goes through on the tank with the reason of horrible tank.  I think Retman started it.  Not sure why the others agreed, it was not the tanks fault the guy died 9 times already.

Death 10:
- He dies on the boss the same way it seems 80% of all melee dies on it.
Death 11:
- He tries to run back, he never makes it.  Did he fall again, did he forget the cauldron?  Who knows.
Death 12:
- Dies running back once more.  I type out, touch the cauldron.
Death 13:
- He gets killed somewhere close, but not with us.  I can just tell he was close because he lit up as in range on my healbot even if I could not get a heal on him.
Death 14:
- He gets back in time to die again from breath.
Death 15:
- He gets back and jumps right in poison and stands there, dying of course.

Intermission:  Lets give credit where credit is due.  The other two DPS died as well and they did not even try to run back.  Me and the new tank did basically 80% of the whole fight ourselves.  Someone pops a mammoth again.  Tank whispers me, I hope I can make my raid in an hour.  I reply, not looking so good with this group.  He says, lets give it a try.

Death 16:
- Gets hit by rocks coming up and then promptly gets squished when he gets to the top.
Death 17:
- Stands in devastating slam.
Death 18:
- Gets slammed again.

Intermission:  Retman took a break from dying for a while.  We did the archeology boss and the crystal boss too without him dying.  He did however find a way to drag nearly the entire room by the crystal boss into the fight and no, it was not from being feared into things.

Death 19:
- Stands in the whirlwind and some how manages to get the tank killed as well in the process.
Death 20:
- Dies to the same mobs a second time.  I should have never revived both him and the tank while we had everything CCed so that one is my fault I guess for reviving him.
Death 21:
- Stands in the fire, no achievement for this one.

Intermission:  Mammoth time again.  This guy is lucky someone had one.

Death 22:
- In a final blaze of glory he decides to stand in the purple stuff that increases damage while downing a chain and not moving when the little puff of smoke appears under him.

Endnote:  The tank whispers me saying, thanks for helping me carry them.  When the dungeon finally rings done there is a little exchange that goes something like this.

Tank:  Wow, you did not get the achievement for this, you have done this before.
Retman:  Yeah, I am just having a really bad day.
Me: I noticed.
DPS: No kidding.


  1. Oh my god, this post had me laughing out loud repeatedly. Who says that dying in game always has to be a a bad thing? I was just saddened by the poor tank getting kicked for no reason. You have to give the guy credit for being persistent though, most of the time when I see people die repeatedly from their own stupid they tend to leave soon after (out of shame perhaps).

  2. This is so entertaining. We've all had those bad nights...but I think it'd be hard to top this. My favorite is the "fell off the bridge" death. It's not even the dumbest or weirdest (who hasn't had a death like that) but I think it just captures the mood perfectly.

  3. Sometimes things that would normally be an irritant can instead turn into a source of amusement... This HAS to qualify.

  4. This reminds me of another pugger I ran into that I will always remember. He was a Hunter, and he was really pretty bad. But it wasn't a Heroic or anything (I forget what level it was), and he wasn't being a jerk or ninjaing anything, so it was fine. But I remember commenting on his terrible ability usage (in guild chat), but then being completely charmed on the next boss, when he stopped what he was doing to run in and intensely place all his traps on the boss, and then run out and start shooting again. I couldn't possibly get annoyed at him after that - he was bad, yeah, but he was TRYING SO HARD. <3

  5. I second Shintar, what a read lol!! :D

    as far as achievements go I've never been a big fan, but if anything you deserve an achievement for sticking to a group for this long. they should make it a title, "X the stoic" or something, that would be a meaningful thing for a change!


  6. Glad you all enjoyed the story. This is one of those runs that I will always be able to look back at and smile. It was funny in its own way.

    Some runs can be great even if they are not really good. This proves it.

  7. Haha this was great! Probably going to be my only comment ever here (even though I like your stuff) but I figured if this warranted me interrupting my roommate during her 1000th character leveling process I should say thanks for writing this and sticking with (what sounds like) a totally fail if amusing group!