Thursday, December 24, 2015

The Tale of Rory the Christmas Goblin

Sit back for the tale
and hear the story of Rory
the great Christmas goblin
as it happened back near the quarry

The blinkers were blinking
and the mashers were mashing
But Rory the Goblin
Thought the lights needed more flashing

He mixed some Kaja Cola
With some Kungaloosh
For a punch that he knew
Would make minds go whoosh whoosh

It was his last step of many
On making this year
A Christmas to remember
One forever they'd cheer

Each year the goblins of Kezan
Hang flickers, flashers, blinkers and blasters
All to have the biggest display of the towns
most importantly his, willowsgrove masters

While his father was away
he knew no lights would be hung
Unless he did something special
the house would look like Funafuti the cat's dung

And here in willowsgrove masters
a goblins worth is based on Christmas blast
he wasn't going to be the kid
Who went to class with his house as the last

Prepared Rory was
to make this year the best
he gathered materials for weeks
put all the mixtures to the test

Planned it all he did
down to the last light
there would be sparkles and flashes
and explosions that night

his house and his township
would forever be known
as willowsgrove masters
the master lighters home

invitations were sent
and the drinks were all free
at the hill over looking
the entire town for all to see

now for nightfall to come
so he could plug in his lights
so people would know
little Rory has the brightest brights

Papa would be proud
if he saw the entire town coming there
all because his son
set this day up for fanfare

The drank their Kaja Cola
And Kungaloosh by the gallon
waiting for the sun to go down
as he connected the last balun

Thank you all for coming
Rory exclaimed with great joy
willowsgrove masters will win this years lightfest
all my knowledge I did employ

So sit back and wait
and let the light show begin
Enjoy your drinks and your food
while I plug this here thing in

The buzz and the hum
the light sparkled and then flashed
but lights were not lighting
no bedazzle, no flickers , no blast

With no chagrin at all
he booted and punched at the panel
work you damn thing
I won't say it again and that final

But nothing would happen
except a spark from a short
here or there that was all
no lights of no sort

You failure, you louse
you called us all here for that
they shouted at Rory
saying they've seen more flash from a rat

As they started to walk down to the town
Rory kicked and punched and he begged them to stop
Just one more minute I know it will work
he kicked once more so hard to the sound of a pop

The ground began to rattle
the machine was no flop
as the power went to the city
the people did stop

First his house lit up
then beezles then alvro chili hut
The counting house lit up too
even the bulb antlers on his mutt

The crowd began to notice not only his house
it was the whole city that has things glittered
the fences, the posts, and the street lanes too
people took pictures to show all and they twittered

Rory had done it
just as their reactions have shown
but just as he got comfortable
he noticed a fuse had just blown

The counting house went up first
then the bar exploded too, bye bye rusted crown
as his house and others followed soon
as explosions and flames enveloped the town

Tears came from his eyes
bashes, booms and other sounds
in a matter of seconds
all the smiles turned to frowns

Then an explosion so big
it was heard three towns over, not pretty
as the last house had fallen
his dreams have destroyed the whole city

But the bangers and blasters
in the air they were so high
the blingers and bloppers
were all lighting up in the sky

as the others watched on
to his surprise they no longer seem sad
the jumped up for joy and cheered
they yelled happy and glad

For Rory did it
even if he did not realize
the ultimate goblin Christmas
destruction and explosions are gifts to goblin eyes

there you have it, the goblin that tried
just to win a light show on the 25th
And that is the story of Rory
how he became the christmas goblin of myth

I decided to make up a little something fun to share with my fellow warcraft fans.  Hope you enjoy the story or rory.  Perhaps he will make another appearence some day.  He seems like a likable ennough kid.  For a goblin at least.

Merry Christmas all, and may Rory not visit your town. ;)


  1. Thanks, Grumpy! Merry Christmas to you, too.

  2. very nice GE, nice indeedy.

    But beyond Rory, though I would like for him to bring his blopper to a nasty alliance hunter named of aronhawk of Proudmorons. And a moron he was. While a lvl 86 horde hunter was taming Skoll today (this is Christmas after all)in the middle of the tame, this moron of the server proudmorons, killed Skoll. SO thank you Mr Grinch-hawk. It was very nice and very christimy of you to be a jerk off because you probably got a box rusty razor blades. Please do take them to your wrists and slice down, not across. SO Merry Christmas to you asshole and to you a goodnight!

    And Merry Christmas to you GE and fellow readers.


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