Disheartening

It is getting really disheartening lately for me.  Every week we roll through ICC 25 and down bosses.  Every week something decent drops that I could really use which is rare enough being I do not need a great deal from the early bosses that we are running through.  Every week I lose the rolls.

Yeap, every fucking week something decent drops and I lose the roll.  The bow I need from there that rarely drops finally dropped again.  It only drops like once every month.  So I roll, not even close.  It goes to another hunter.  There are 5 fucking hunters in the group.  Now 2 have it, so the way I see it, dropping once a month, I will need to wait another 3 months before I get it.  I can not wait 5 months between upgrades.

Another mark dropped for me to roll on and I lose that roll again as well.  Just like I lost the roll for every other mark that dropped before that I could use.  Of course I would not win the roll.  Why would I win the roll?

A hunter helm dropped I could have used.  I did not roll, I want the marks more so, I want the bow more so, I want other things more so.  An axe dropped I could have used.  I did not roll, let another hunter get the huge upgrade.  I am a team player.  Unless it is a big upgrade for me I do not roll for it.  Every time one of the few things I need falls.  I lose the roll and it usually goes to some other hunter that has already won something else that I passed on to let them have.

Why can't they give me the same courtesy?  I only roll on things I really need.  Let me have one of them once in a while.  I am a team player, how come no one else is?

In the last month I have not won one fucking roll (except for winning two saronites) and it is starting to get really disheartening.  Every person in the raid is building up.  Every person in the raid is blowing past me in gear score.  Every person in the raid is still behind me in DPS.  I do the best I can with the gear I have but it is getting to the point where my skill with my gear will not matter any more.  I will get passed up.

The hunter that was closest to me got 2 marks, got the helm, the bow, the boots, the pants... got everything he could need in the last month.  I assure you he will pass me in DPS soon.  I do not mind that.  But come on now.  Don't you think I should have gotten any of those fucking things?

I am sick and tired of running ICC 25 every week to gear everyone else while I get nothing, ever.  Sure, I am a team player but once in a while I would like to have something new too.  I do my job, I do it well, I show up every raid, I show up on time, I show up prepared, I show up knowing the fights and I show up kicking ass yet I continue to lose rolls to people I have to supply with flasks because they "forgot" to bring them.  I have to sit around waiting with the rest of the raid because they show up 20 minutes late.  I have to wait and listen to fight mechanics that we have all heard 20 times already because they "forgot" since last week what to do.  And I lose the rolls to these people.

I swear, I am so close to quitting raiding.  I play to have fun just like everyone else and it is no fun when you do all the work and never get anything to show for it.  I supply arrows at no charge to all the hunters, I supply the flasks for all the hunters (and anyone else that uses endless and selfishly forgets to buy them), I never once used the guild to pay for my repairs, I pay on my own.  I do everything that a "good" raider should do and I always end up on the short end of the stick.

One more week, one more 25 man, one last try.  If I do not win something next week I quit.  It is not worth it if you are not having fun doing it.  I am not having fun doing everything and being a team player and letting the drops go to people that do not even show up when we continue so we can keep going. Why should they show up, they got their loot already.

I am not saying I should just be given things because I was unlucky enough to never win anything, what I am saying is I am sick of always losing the rolls on the very few things I ever roll for to people that really do not deserve it.  I most likely would not be upset if it were not the same people that win every fucking roll every week.

I hate that one or two people end up with all the wins every week and every week I get nothing.  These people need to learn to pass for the team once in a while like I do.  Either that, or I should start being a douchebag like everyone else and roll for things even if they are not a big upgrade just to deny someone else instead of passing and let the person that needs it most get it.