When someone in your guild asks for help with something do you help them?
That is really a loaded question that has no definitive answer. At least not if you are going to ask me the question. The reason I call it a loaded question is because there are way to many variables involved. It can not simply be answered "yes I do" or "no I don't". Not to mention, unless you are a world class jerk or the people in your guild are world class jerks who would ever answer "no I don't".
I believe that everyone would say "yes I do" and just leave it at that. If you have ever read my blog you would know there is no such thing as a simple answer to a question like that if you ask me. I'd have to think about it and ask you if you wanted the long answer or the short answer.
Short answer: "Yes I try to help out people when I can."
Long answer: That is where I explain in detail what "when I can" means.
Someone in the guild started a little firestorm the other day when the patch came out because "no one helps anyone here". Meaning he believed the guild was unfriendly and that no one would help with the celestial bosses.
I said, when I came on most of the people that needed all four already got it done, so I started to do my stuff around the island and whenever I saw one of the 4 bosses I needed I just ran in and got in my hits and I got my 4 kills in no problem.
I explained it was just released content and everyone wanted to do it as soon as they came on. Also, the bosses would be being pulled every few minutes anyway even on a small server like ours so I did not put up a group kill for release day. Just get your shots in when you see a group, just like I did.
But while I believe what I said to be reasonable he decided that it just meant I did not want to help and no one else in the guild wanted to help because "they did it already so they do not care about anyone else".
I am not kidding, this is an actual situation that happened. As ridiculous as it sounds someone wanted the entire guild to drop what they were doing to help on the day of new content when the boss is a shared tag boss that was being pulled every 10 minutes anyway.
He then gave an ultimatum that him and his friends where going to all leave the guild and take many people with them unless we changed our guild rules to require people to help others when they ask.
Again, I am not kidding, this was a real complaint and a real demand.
Do you know what my reply was, but I did not say it because I have experience in managing people I knew it would not be best to say it that way. I what I wanted to say was good riddance, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
This is where I wonder what the line is for helping out others. Was he reasonable to be upset no one would help him with the celestial kills? I personally don't think so because it was patch day and everyone wanted to check things out, they were all busy with their own things and like I said, the bosses were basically being chain pulled to begin with. But that is just my opinion, and others might disagree. Apparently he did. He believed that everyone should drop what they were doing to help him and if they didn't it was reason enough to try and start some guild drama.
See, that is why I could never answer "yes I do" to if I help people because the answer is not always that clear cut. If I am in the middle of something else I won't. If I am in the LFR or something like that I am not going to drop it to help. If I did it already I might help, but when I switch to another character. So while I might be willing to help, it isn't always a fact I will. I might be doing something else and I think it is wrong to expect everyone to drop everything they are doing to help you.
The same goes for when people ask for gems or enchants or a belt buckle or shoulder or leg enchants. I will be glad to help you, when I switch to that character. But unless I am doing nothing at the particular moment you ask you have to wait until I switch. I will never charge you or even ask for the mats, I will just give it to you, so the least you can do is not demand I switch right now to help you.
Honestly I did not even think for a second before I made my decision on his ultimatum. I will not now or ever make a rule that requires other people to stop what they are doing to help everyone that asks. Helping has to be because the person has the time, and willingness, to do so. Once you force people to help they are no longer helping, they are doing a job, they are following rules. That is not what the game is about.
Sure, we need some rules, but that would not be one of them.
If someone asks you for help with anything you have to drop what you are doing and help them or you will be kicked from the guild, screw having fun and enjoying yourself, everyone else is more important than you having fun.
Basically that is the rule he is asking us to add. Not gonna happen.
The reason our guild works is because people help because they want to. It is not only me that will make anything you need for your character, there are dozens of players in the guild that will make anything you need for free and all you need to do is ask. There are many others that might not have the resources, but do have the skills, and will make it for you if you have the materials. They all do it because they want to do it and that is what being a guild is all about. But to demand they do it is out of line in my opinion.
He was told he would be given an answer to his demands this week, and it will be exactly what I said it would be, good riddance, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
On the average day I would have gladly sat around and helped people assemble a group for the 4 celestial bosses if they needed it. I would have switched so I could loot on four different characters of course, but on day one of release, there is so much that everyone wanted to see and do that I felt it was incredibly selfish to ask everyone to drop what they are doing because you do not want to just get a hit in like me and many others that day have already done.
So in that case, it was a "no" to helping out. And sometimes it has to be a no.
Let me give an example of an actual question I've been asked more than a few times this expansion and some of the actual replies that I have said. Even if I would normally answer the help out question as "yes I do" you will see that more often than not I end up saying no. But it is not because I do not want to help but sometimes it is just not practical to do so.
Can someone with a two seater mount fly me to dread wastes so I can start the quests there?
1) Sure, I'll send an invite.
2) You are in townlong, just talk to one of the shado pan with a quest marker, they will give you a quest to go to the serpent spire and open up the fight path, that will take you to where the klaxxi quests start in the dread wastes.
3) I am in queue for the LFR now, sorry.
4) I am on another server at the moment, if you still have not gotten there later I can take you.
5) I am waiting on this world boss group to start, I can help when we are done.
So 4 out of 5 times my answer was actually no but I still would give "yes" as my answer if asked straight out. The reason being, is as I said, there is always a conditional and no matter what the conditions where, even if I said no, I was willing the help with all 5, just of them were not possible to help with at the moment.
In case one I am currently not doing anything of consequence and am willing to head there. In case two I use the teach a man to fish approach where I teach them how to get there so they do not need to depend on others to do so. It is how most of us got there after all, unless you are like me and just jumped over the wall on the day of release and almost died. In case three I would have been willing to help but I can not help because that would mean losing my place in queue, so effectively I am busy at the moment. In case four I am not even on the server, as you can guess this means they asked in voice chat, so I can not help. And last but not least in case five we have the half and half. Yes, I will help you in the immediate future, but I have to finish something first. But from an instant assistance standpoint only one of my answers was yes.
Same goes for many other things. I've given out hundreds of gems and enchants this expansion alone already but there are some people I just won't give them too. I might suggest they buy the cheap versions, I might even offer to make them the cheap versions, but some people are honestly just not worth the effort. You know the type I am talking about. They are rarely on, they never help anyone but they always expect everyone to give them everything. So being they are part time players they do not need top end things because they are not doing anything that might require it. So I will help, but only in a limited way. I will not use top end materials on someone that logs in once or twice a month.
While I will help everyone I do hold that motto to only help those that help themselves. The huge difference there is when someone asks, can anyone help me with some gems, and I say, sure what do you need. If they say, I need the agility & crit cut, 2 of them, I have no issue helping them. If they say I don't know but I have 2 yellow slots I won't. I will direct them to noxxic.com and tell them get back to me when they know what gems they need. Once they help themselves by learning what they need, I will help them with what they need. Call me an asshole if you want, but I think that is a fair line in the sand to draw. If you ask me for help and say, do you think crit or haste is better for yellow, I will give my opinion but don't say, I don't know and expect me to do all the research for you. (even if I would know it to begin with anyway)
So as you see, there is no "yes I do" or "no I don't" even for people that like to help or refuse to help. There is always some middle ground and in the case that made me think of this post, that middle ground was, it is patch day and there is a ton of new content. No, people are not going to drop everything just to help you. Get your tags in the same way the rest of us did.
For the record, week 2, we did the guild celestial thing. You know why? Because now it is not a new patch with everyone wanting to see all the new stuff on their own schedule based on when they logged on. I guess the difference is, I understand that it is selfish to ask everyone to drop what they are doing for you and some others don't understand that. I take all the help I can when I can get it, but I would never demand it.
I don't think I could ever make a guild rule that people have to help others. Who would make a rule like that? Good people will help, if they have the time to do so, but do not demand it from them, it is wrong, and selfish.
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