Healer Dragnet

"This is the world of Azeroth, there are over 12 million people here, when someone gets hurt they call upon me, I work here, I heal people"
(Dum-de-dum-dum)

"It was Saturday, January 15th, 4:55 PM... I was healing the dungeon out in Uldum called Halls of Origination, here is the story..."

Me: Move out of the purple stuff.
DPS: I am not in purple stuff.

DPS dies

DPS: WTF?  Why did I die?
Me: Because you where standing in the purple stuff.
DPS: Why didn't you heal me?
Me: I did, enough so you could get out.  You did not get out, I stopped healing you.
DPS: So you let me die.
Me: I was not going oom to keep you alive when you could have moved.

Later

Me: Move out of the purple stuff.
DPS: I am not in purple stuff.

DPS dies.

DPS: WTF? Why do you keep letting me die.
Me: Because you refuse to move.  I am not wasting mana on you.
DPS: But I was not standing in anything.
Tank: Yes you where.  Maybe you need to adjust your video settings.
DPS:  If I turn them up I lag.
Me:  Then you have three options.
Me: 1) Turn them up and lag but live.
Me: 2) Notice that you are taking damage and move knowing that there must be something under you that you can not see.
Me: 3) Stay there and die.

Later

DPS: I am lagging like crazy.

DPS dies

DPS: WTF?  You let me die again.
Me: You where standing in fire.
DPS: I know, but I am lagging and could not move fast enough.
Me: I do not care if you have an excuse for standing in the fire.  I am still not going to heal you if you do not move.

Later

DPS dies

DPS: You know, you can just heal me through it.
Me: You know, you could just move.
Tank: lol
Other DPS: lol
Third DPS: lol

"This is my world, the world of Azeroth.  Sometimes I get called in to heal and there is someone that I cannot heal.  When my job cannot get done because of that someone I turn the offending party over to a higher power."

"The DPS was turned over to Stormwind County Detention awaiting arraignment on charges of complete ineptitude.  A maximum sentence for which is up to six party kicks, high repair bills and a lack of healing from many other healers if found guilty."